This past week I read yet another article about unplugging from online/screens. There was nothing all that earth shattering in it, but it was well written and reiterated some nice points. I personally have been trying to distance myself from Facebook more and more. I want to keep using Facebook as a networking and PR tool without losing hours of my day to it. It's a balance struggle that I'm not quite winning yet.
One section of it really hit home for me. His discussion on the psychology and rewards of the internet, and how that leads to compulsive use makes me feel a little better about the hours of time I sometimes loose to Facebook. Here's a excerpt discussing what it was like to ditch all screens:
Those early days of screenlessness were bewildering. My mind, wound up like a top for years, continued spinning. I experienced sporadic surges of angst and adrenaline, sure I was supposed to be doing… something. I’d pull my phone out every few minutes, even though no one was e-mailing me and I’d uninstalled all social-media apps. The habits and mental agitations of digital work life persisted like phantom limbs.
My symptoms were testament to the power of what psychologists call variable intermittent
reinforcement. Famed behaviorist B. F. Skinner discovered long ago that if you really want
to ingrain a habit, you encourage it with rewards that arrive at variable times, in variable
sizes. The lab rat knows that it will periodically be given food for pressing the lever, but not
exactly when or how much. The result: a compulsive rat.
reinforcement. Famed behaviorist B. F. Skinner discovered long ago that if you really want
to ingrain a habit, you encourage it with rewards that arrive at variable times, in variable
sizes. The lab rat knows that it will periodically be given food for pressing the lever, but not
exactly when or how much. The result: a compulsive rat.
It’s the same with humans. Variable intermittent reinforcement explains why slot machines
are so enthralling, why video games contain hidden caches of coins or weapons, and why
we’re all helpless before our e-mail accounts. One time you check your inbox and there’s
a single new message, from LinkedIn, which reminds you that you can’t figure out how to
delete your LinkedIn account. Sad face. The next time you check, you have five new
messages, including one from an old friend and another from a potential employer.
Happy face! So you check, check, check.
are so enthralling, why video games contain hidden caches of coins or weapons, and why
we’re all helpless before our e-mail accounts. One time you check your inbox and there’s
a single new message, from LinkedIn, which reminds you that you can’t figure out how to
delete your LinkedIn account. Sad face. The next time you check, you have five new
messages, including one from an old friend and another from a potential employer.
Happy face! So you check, check, check.
What’s true of e-mail is true of more and more software—the hot trend is to “gamify”
everything, which just means using intermittent reinforcement to hook users. It’s no
accident that you can earn points or badges in virtually every app these days.
everything, which just means using intermittent reinforcement to hook users. It’s no
accident that you can earn points or badges in virtually every app these days.
The kinds of rewards offered in online communities are particularly compelling, based on
what Dan Siegel, a UCLA professor of psychiatry and executive director of the Mindsight
Institute, calls contingent communication. It happens, he told me, when “a signal sent gets
a signal back.” That simple act, evoking a response from another mind, is a key
feature of early childhood development and remains “deeply rewarding,” Siegel said,
satisfying primordial instincts shaped by our evolution as a social species.
what Dan Siegel, a UCLA professor of psychiatry and executive director of the Mindsight
Institute, calls contingent communication. It happens, he told me, when “a signal sent gets
a signal back.” That simple act, evoking a response from another mind, is a key
feature of early childhood development and remains “deeply rewarding,” Siegel said,
satisfying primordial instincts shaped by our evolution as a social species.
A 2012 study by two Boston University psychologists found that Facebook use is driven by
two “primary needs”—the “need for self-presentation” and the “need to belong.” Broadcast
and be acknowledged: that’s a ping. Each one affirms our existence as efficacious agents in
the world and prompts a squirt of reinforcing hormones from the brain’s reward center.
“That,” Siegel said, “is why people will respond to a text while driving a two-ton vehicle.”
NOTE: The TDE does *NOT* text while driving. OK, occasionally while at a red light and I feel guilty whenever I do it. Never while actually driving though. Don't do it!two “primary needs”—the “need for self-presentation” and the “need to belong.” Broadcast
and be acknowledged: that’s a ping. Each one affirms our existence as efficacious agents in
the world and prompts a squirt of reinforcing hormones from the brain’s reward center.
“That,” Siegel said, “is why people will respond to a text while driving a two-ton vehicle.”
That all made quite a bit of sense to me and I recognize this as one of my struggles with unplugging. Today I want to share a little story related to this. It is so absurd and really drives home the point of this article. A well timed reminder to myself that I need to work to stay unplugged sometimes.
I believe it was the same day I read the article. It may have been the following day. I sent an email to a friend. This friend had recently visited and during the visit I was reminded that a particular aspect of both of our senses of humor is very similar. I was also reminded how nice it is to have someone like that around to laugh hysterically at your funnies. So in this email was a rant that *I* thought was pretty funny and I knew would be right up his alley. I found myself sorta-kinda waiting for his reply and realized that I was waiting for his justification of myself and that I wrote a humorous email. To "broadcast and be acknowledged" if you will.
And if that wasn't sad enough, the story continues. That night I had a little trouble falling asleep. I know my sleep patterns well enough to know that it only takes me 10-15 mins to know sleep isn't happening and to get out of the bed.* So, I headed to the couch to hopefully fall sleep. Here's the crazy part. It's nighttime, past bedtime. I want to be asleep but I'm not. As soon as I entered the living room, I actually thought about turning on my computer to check to see if my friend had answered my email. Luckily I was able to resist this temptation, but it was hard. It was a conscious decision and took some will power to stick by it. It was a perfect example of what was said in the article about wanting to put out and receive online. It was a little eye-opening. Luckily not TOO eye-opening though... I was able to get to sleep pretty quickly after I resisted that temptation.
*Note: Getting out of the bed when you can't sleep is basic sleep hygiene. It works wonders for me. I often leave the bed for the couch or futon and then fall asleep immediately after I move locations. I don't fully understand it, but I don't question something that helps with my intermittent insomnia.
And so, in the past few days, I have made conscious decisions to close the computer and put it away when I'm staring at nothing online waiting for the next Facebook notification to pop up. I had a day where I needed to do work online for my business. I set a timer for 45 mins of online work and then went outside in the sunshine for a 10-15 min walk. I did this three times. It was nice. I still fall into the trap often (I've now been on my computer for almost 3 hours straight this morning) but I'm a bit more aware and concerned. I'm still trying to find the balance.
How do you find the balance?
I always found the random reinforcement concept interesting in terms of direct human relationships. You see someone obsessed with a problematic boyfriend or girlfriend, and the common denominator always seems to be that said partner is inconsistent... not available when expected, just randomly around.
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